On leaving the gym that shaped me — and taking the best parts with me
When I was sixteen, I started one of the many diets I’ve been on throughout my life. It was, of course, about a boy. A friend worked with a guy who had a friend, and she thought we should all go see Aliens together. Immediately, I sprang into action — eating granola bars and frozen meals so I could shed a few pounds before the big day. Whether I did or not was mostly irrelevant, because it didn’t work out anyway. But that was the first time I distinctly recall trying to lose weight… and it wasn’t even for myself. Perhaps that’s why it didn’t stick.
One good thing came of it, though: I decided to join a gym. Planet Fitness was opening in our area, and for only $10 a month with zero down, I figured I had nothing to lose.
My gym usage went in waves for the next twelve years. For months at a time, I’d neglect it, paying a monthly fee for absolutely nothing. Other times, I’d have a love affair with it — going nearly every day, especially during my first major weight-loss journey in 2012 and 2013. When I wasn’t going, I didn’t mind much because it was “only” $10 a month, withdrawn automatically so I barely noticed it. I never canceled, knowing that if I signed up again later, I’d have to pay a sign-up fee.
When Jerry moved here in 2012, one of the first things we did was get him a membership. We met on MyFitnessPal, both of us in the prime of our weight-loss journeys, and fitness was one of the things that bonded us. We worked out often, and most of my family had memberships too, so I could almost always find a workout buddy.
Over the years, the gym changed — owners, staff, location, atmosphere — though maybe the “vibe” shift was just in my head. Even so, I clung to it. That gym held so many good memories for me that I was hesitant to give it up. I literally changed my life in that building. For two years, I spent hours there transforming my body, building my confidence, and learning to run.
I met with my trainer, Scott — found on Craigslist — once a week. Eventually, he became a friend, a supporter, and the one who forced me to run, fueling a passion I never knew I could have. He ran my first race with me, came to my wedding, and gave me cards when I hit milestones. He took me grocery shopping to pick out healthy foods and answered my texts whenever I slipped up or had questions.
I laughed a lot in that place — with Scott, with Jerry, with friends, with family. I learned to hold a plank with Scott beside me, cheering me on from five seconds to ten, to a full minute and beyond. I even beat my dad once. I trained for my half-marathon on the treadmill, hating every minute, while snow fell outside. Without that gym, maybe none of that would have happened. Maybe I wouldn’t have lost the weight, met Jerry, had Caleb, or bought a house.
I’m a nostalgic person. Even though I hadn’t used the gym regularly in years, I held onto those memories like they were tied to the building itself. I feared that if I left the gym, I’d leave the memories behind. But the truth is, those memories aren’t inside the walls — they’re inside me. I can leave a place but take the memories with me.
I often cite 2012 and 2013 as the happiest years of my life. That gym played a huge role in them. Those were the years I changed my life, lost the weight, fell in love, and ran a half-marathon. They were the years I proved to myself that I could be anything I wanted to be. The gym helped, but it didn’t make me do it. I did it because I wanted to. The strength was always in me — I just had help finding it.
Last weekend, I finally said goodbye to the gym that shaped me. It was time. Though fitness is becoming a priority again, I don’t need that gym anymore. It might seem strange to quit now, but we’d been thinking about it for a while. The final push? For several years, they’d charged us annual fees we weren’t supposed to pay. They always fixed it, but it was a hassle. When it happened again last week — and considering we hadn’t really gone since having Caleb — I decided it wasn’t worth it. Now we’ll save $20 a month, which isn’t huge, but it will help on our path to financial freedom.
Another factor: we’re considering joining the Y. With childcare, Jerry and I could both work out without struggling to coordinate schedules. They offer classes, pools, a hot tub, a kids’ play area, and family programs. It’s a better fit for this stage of life. It costs more, so we’re holding off until we’ve paid down more debt, but it’s on the horizon.
When I am active, running is my exercise of choice. Why pay for a gym when I can run for free, surrounded by friends who push and encourage me? Sure, I probably won’t run outside in winter, but I can always do home workouts after Caleb goes to bed — my only real free time anyway.
Still, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get teary-eyed over this. Closing a chapter of your life — even one that’s been gathering dust — is bittersweet. But I’m in a new chapter now, one that could be even better if I choose to make it so. I can run again. I can feel good about myself again. I am losing the weight again. The way I do it will just look different this time. And that’s okay.
For so long, I believed that quitting the gym meant losing the person I became inside it. But places and people don’t own our transformations — we do. I’ll never forget who I became there, or the people who helped me find her. But now I know this: the strength was always mine.
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