The Debt Diaries (10): A New Chapter

💸 The Debt Diaries (10): A New Chapter

On second chances, quieter victories, and the debt that still remains.

Nine years ago, I started a series called The Debt Diaries.

Every month, I documented our debt down to the penny. Credit cards. Personal loans. Student loans. Mortgages. Car loans. I tracked payments, interest, principal, and every tiny bit of progress. Some months felt encouraging. Others felt defeating. But the series became a record of what financial life really looked like behind the scenes.

Then life changed.

The series quietly disappeared after 2018, but the journey didn’t.

A lot can happen in nine years.

🗓️ Money Milestones Since We Last Met

February 2024
Approximately $50,000 of my remaining federal student loans were forgiven through the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program after ten years of qualifying public service and payments.

September 2024
I got a divorce and sold my house, bringing my mortgage journey to an end (for now!).

February 2026
I paid off every remaining credit card balance.

July 2026
The Debt Diaries returns with just two loans remaining.

The last time I published a Debt Diaries update, I was tracking a mortgage, student loans, personal loans, two auto loans, and credit cards. Today, only two loans remain.

That does not mean the path from there to here was tidy. There was a divorce, the sale of my home, a damaged credit score, expensive car problems, new debt, and a lot of rebuilding. Some debts disappeared exactly as planned. Others were replaced by obligations I never expected.

But I am in a very different financial position than I was when this series began.

📊 Debt Snapshot

The numbers below reflect my debt starting point as of July 1, 2026.

Beginning next month, each Debt Diaries update will summarize the previous month's financial progress using balances from the first day of the following month.

The progress bars below represent the percentage of each loan that has been repaid based on the original amount borrowed.

NYS Retirement Loan

Borrowed: August 2023
Original Amount Borrowed: $13,702.00
Balance as of July 1, 2026: $13,389.80
Interest Rate: 5.00%
Minimum Payment: $125 per paycheck every two weeks ($250–$375/month)
Payment Frequency: Every two weeks through automatic payroll deductions.
Scheduled Payoff: None
Repayment Deadline: Anytime before retirement

Loan Progress

2.3% Paid Off

Auto Loan

Borrowed: September 3, 2025
Original Amount Borrowed: $17,895.93
Balance as of July 1, 2026: $16,037.36
Interest Rate: 7.89%
Minimum Payment: $316/month
Scheduled Payoff: September 2031

Loan Progress

10.4% Paid Off

Total Remaining Debt

$29,427.16

As of July 1, 2026

🏛️ The Retirement Loan

The retirement loan is a little unusual because I borrowed the money against my own New York State retirement pension. It is not a traditional bank loan, and it does not appear on my credit report.

I borrowed $13,702 in August 2023 to help fund my divorce. The loan was originally set up as a five-year repayment through automatic payroll deductions, with a scheduled payoff date of August 2028.

For a while, those deductions worked exactly as intended. By early 2024, I had reduced the balance to $12,266.62, more than $1,400 below where it began.

Then I changed employers, and the deductions stopped.

At the time, I was trying to survive the financial destruction of the divorce and rebuild the basic pieces of my life. My remaining credit card balances carried much higher interest rates, so those became the priority. The retirement loan gradually faded into the background, and I did not make any payments on it for nearly two years.

Eventually, it defaulted.

Because the money came from my own pension, the default did not damage my credit score. It did, however, create a taxable distribution, which meant I took a tax hit on the loan amount that year.

The default eliminated the original August 2028 repayment deadline, which felt like a massive relief and gave me some freedom and flexibility. I no longer have a fixed payoff date. The loan simply needs to be repaid in full before I retire. If a balance remains at that point, my pension benefit will be reduced to account for it. Obviously, I do not want that to happen. Even though I now technically have more than 20 years to repay it, I want it gone as soon as possible.

I am now employed by a participating public employer again, which means automatic payroll deductions have resumed. That is both a relief and a frustration, because restarting those payments became a bit of its own journey.

In February 2026, after paying off my final credit card balances, I immediately turned my attention back to the retirement loan. I enrolled to have payroll deductions taken out again.

Then I waited.

And waited.

The deductions never started. Meanwhile, the loan continued adding approximately $50 to $55 in interest every month, quietly erasing more of the progress I had previously made.

By June, I was tired of watching the balance grow. I decided to begin making small manual payments on my own, with a goal of paying at least $100 per month while continuing to manage my auto loan and rebuild my savings. 

On June 23, I made my first manual payment. It was my first payment in more than two years. The balance at the time was $13,394.12, meaning it had ballooned back to nearly the amount I had originally borrowed in 2023. Still, I felt really positive that I was taking back control of the loan and finally paying on it again.

Then, in July, after I had already made my first two manual payments, the payroll deductions finally began.

A total of $125 is now deducted from every paycheck, and I am paid every two weeks. That means the loan will receive $250 in most months and $375 during the two months each year that include a third paycheck.

That is considerably more than I had planned to pay each month, and it changes my debt-payoff strategy. The retirement loan has now become my main debt-payoff priority. Anytime I have extra money to put toward debt, it'll be thrown at this loan. 

Since the payroll deductions are already taking a significant amount from every paycheck, I want to eliminate this loan as quickly as reasonably possible and free that money back up in my budget.

🚗 The Auto Loan

I had not had a car payment since I paid off my beloved Jeep Liberty in 2020.

When I made the final payment on it, the plan was simple: drive it for many more years, save money, and eventually upgrade to the Wrangler I had always wanted. My goal was to stay without a car payment for as long as possible.

That plan ended in December 2023, when another driver rear-ended me and totaled the Liberty.

Insurance paid me approximately $8,000. I was determined not to take on another loan, so I used the payout to buy an older Jeep Compass with cash.

It looked like the financially responsible choice.

It was not.

I never trusted the Compass. It felt shaky, unreliable, and smaller than the Liberty I had loved. Then the repairs began. In January 2025, it needed approximately $2,600 in work just to pass inspection. A few months later, I paid another $420 for brakes and rotors. By August, the grinding had started again.

My savings account had already absorbed the repairs, and I refused to keep pouring money into a vehicle I hated and did not trust. I really, really didn't want another car payment. Staying payment-free had been the goal ever since I paid off my Liberty in 2020. But eventually I realized I wasn't saving money anymore. I was simply paying for uncertainty in a different way.

In August 2025, I bought a 2022 Chevy Trailblazer. It was my first major purchase after the divorce and the nicest, newest vehicle I had ever owned.

The original amount financed was $17,895.93 at 7.89% interest. My minimum payment is $316 per month, and the loan is scheduled to end in September 2031.

I hope it does not make it anywhere near that date, but for now, I will be making only the minimum payment. Once the retirement loan is gone, I will begin paying extra on this one.

Having to take this loan out last year slowed down some of my other financial goals, but reliable transportation has its own value. After the Compass, peace of mind was worth putting back into the budget.

💰 Savings and Credit

My savings account took several significant hits between the divorce, repeated repairs on the Compass, and the down payment on my Trailblazer.

Since then, I have worked hard to build it back into five figures.

I do not plan to publish the full balance every month. Instead, I will share how much I am able to add, or occasionally how much I need to withdraw when life happens. That lets me track the progress without turning the exact amount sitting in my account into public information.

My credit score is currently 757.

During the divorce in 2024, it dipped into the 500s. Rebuilding it has become one of my favorite measures of financial recovery because it represents hundreds of small decisions made consistently over time.

🎯 My Financial Priorities

These priorities will guide my financial decisions over the coming months and years. They may change as life and my finances change, but this is where my focus stands today.

• Continue growing my savings as I work toward buying a home again.
• Pay down my retirement loan through the required $125 biweekly payroll deductions, making it my primary debt-payoff focus. Whenever I have extra money to throw at debt, it'll go toward this loan. I would like to get this paid off as soon as possible so I no longer have payroll deductions. It always feels like a big hit on my paycheck.
• Continue making the required $316 monthly auto-loan payment and begin accelerating that loan once the retirement loan is paid off.
• Stay free of revolving credit card debt and avoid taking on unnecessary new debt.
• Continue improving and maintaining my credit score as I prepare for a future home purchase.

📖 What I’ll Be Tracking

The original Debt Diaries were about surviving debt. This version is about building long-term financial stability.

Each month, I’ll continue tracking the numbers, but I’ll also be documenting the decisions behind them.

• Original loan amounts and current balances
• Monthly balance changes
• Progress toward paying off each loan
• Total remaining debt
• Total paid during the month
• How much went toward principal
• How much went toward interest
• The percentage of each payment that actually reduced debt
• Savings added or withdrawn
• Credit score updates
• Financial wins, setbacks, and lessons learned

A quick note about the dates: Beginning with The Debt Diaries: July 2026, to be published in early August, each post will summarize the previous month’s financial progress. The updated balances will come from the first day of the following month, giving me one consistent checkpoint for comparison.

💭 A Different Kind of Freedom

Nine years ago, financial freedom mostly meant eliminating debt.

Today, it means something a little different.

It means having choices. A growing savings account. A healthy credit score. Reliable transportation. No revolving credit card debt. And eventually, no debt at all.

I’m not there yet.

But for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m headed in the right direction.

Welcome back to The Debt Diaries.

← Previous: July 2018 | Next: July 2026 →

This post is part of my Debt Diaries series, where I share the numbers, setbacks, wins, and lessons from my journey toward financial freedom.

Explore the full series on the Debt Diaries landing page.

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Things Kids Ruin (in the Best Possible Way)

On the everyday chaos that somehow becomes the good stuff

Kids ruin a lot of things.

Sleep. Quiet houses. Snacks you were planning to eat by yourself.

They ruin movies, game nights, car rides, and the basic concept of sitting down peacefully for five minutes. Some of it is accidental. Some of it feels almost strategic. Either way, life with kids has a way of turning ordinary moments into something louder, messier, and a lot less predictable.

Take sleep, for example.

Most mornings, Holden wakes me up at the crack of dawn to ask if he has school that day. Usually it's still dark outside. He doesn't really understand calendars yet, so the question remains urgent every single morning.

"Do I have school today?"

It doesn't matter if the answer was yes yesterday and the day before that. Apparently, the possibility must be investigated every single morning.

Dinner is another thing kids ruin.

The adults might be having something normal. Pasta. Chicken. Something that requires effort.

The kids want ramen noodles.

Or cereal.

Or some other combination of junk that bears no resemblance to the meal anyone else is eating. Negotiations begin. Bargaining takes place. In the end, someone is eating ramen anyway.

Car rides also suffer.

They're usually fighting about something no one can fully explain. At one point they even went through a phase where they unbuckled each other's seatbelts in the back seat. Now they mostly argue, smack each other, or request the same song multiple times in a row.

Movies don't survive either.

Holden talks through them like he's providing live commentary. He stands up. Walks around. Narrates what's happening on screen. If we're sitting on the couch watching something together, there is approximately a zero percent chance it will happen quietly.

Snacks are another casualty.

Holden can detect a snack from remarkable distances. I've tried sneaking into the room with a candy bar or something small, hoping to eat it unnoticed.

It has never worked.

Within seconds he appears and asks, "What are you eating? Can I have some?"

The couch has also suffered.

Holden launches himself onto it like he's entering a wrestling ring, despite daily reminders that couches are not WWE arenas. The result is that the couch is constantly shifting across the room like it's slowly trying to escape.

And occasionally it gets baptized with spilled ginger ale.

Reading is another thing kids ruin.

Reading used to be quiet. Now it's more of a signal to the rest of the house that I'm temporarily available for interruption. The moment I sit down with a book, someone suddenly needs their tenth beverage of the day. Someone else is starving despite having eaten fifteen minutes ago. And if neither of those things are happening, Holden will appear with a video I absolutely must watch.

If I look away for even a second, he immediately says, "Keep looking!"

He monitors my eyeballs like a security guard.

Game night has also been compromised.

Caleb likes to make trivia games. Blookets and quizzes we can all play together on the TV. In theory, this is wholesome family fun.

In practice, Caleb writes all the questions. And the questions are about operating systems. Or computers. Or obscure technical facts that only Caleb understands. None of us know the answers.

We suggest adding normal questions next time. Movies. Animals. Anything human. Something we might actually know.

He refuses. Absolutely will not relent.

And then, most unbelievably, he competes in the game against us. Even though he made it. He stands there, answering the questions instantly, waving his arms and laughing while we get every question wrong, completely delighted by the chaos he created.

Meanwhile, Holden cheats at every other game we play. Extra turns in Trouble. Extra cards in Uno. Bold, obvious cheating. He doesn't even try to hide it.

Game night ends up being less about winning and more about surviving.

So yes, kids ruin a lot of things.

Sleep. Movies. Reading. Snacks. Peace and quiet.

But they also fill those moments with something else.

One day there won't be a little voice asking if there's school before the sun comes up. Nobody will demand I stop reading to watch a thirty-second video. The back seat will be quiet. The couch won't inch across the living room. Game night probably won't end with impossible trivia questions about operating systems.

Those things feel exhausting while you're living them. They're interruptions. They're inconveniences. They're tiny little invasions of ordinary life.

But they're also childhood.

And childhood has a way of disappearing while you're still busy asking everyone to stop yelling, stop jumping on the couch, and please let you finish just one page of your book.

Even when I'm exhausted...

I'm going to miss every single thing they ruined.

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The Time Machine

On showing up, shared laughter, and the moments we keep

A couple of months ago, a flyer came home from school.

Caleb’s band would be traveling to a local amusement park for a music competition. They needed parent chaperones. The students would perform, then spend the rest of the day enjoying the park.

Before I had even finished reading the flyer, Caleb told me he wanted one of us to chaperone.

I hesitated.

Not because I didn’t want to spend the day with him. Because I knew exactly what the day would ask of me.

In 2021, I developed a condition called POTS, a disorder that affects my body's ability to regulate things like heart rate and blood pressure. Heat is a trigger. Standing for long periods is hard. Walking all day can leave me exhausted. From the outside, I look perfectly healthy. Most people would never know that things that seem simple can take a lot out of me.

I worried about the heat. I worried about spending an entire day on my feet. I worried about loading and unloading instruments and babysitting a group of kids I didn’t know.

Mostly, though, I worried about whether I could physically make it through the day.

For months, I looked at the date on my calendar and dreaded it.

But Caleb wanted me there.

So I signed up.

And I went.

His band played beautifully.

There is something special about hearing those songs performed by the full group. At home, we hear fragments. A few measures repeated over and over while someone learns a difficult section. The songs become familiar long before the concert ever arrives.

But when the whole band plays together, those scattered pieces finally come to life.

After the performance, our group headed into the park.

For the next couple of hours, I mostly watched.

The kids ran from ride to ride while I looked for benches whenever I could find them. The sun climbed higher. My legs grew tired. I could feel the familiar soreness settling in.

Somewhere along the way, I paid an outrageous amount of money for a giant souvenir slushie cup and watched Caleb proudly carry it around the park with bright blue lips.

Eventually, our group split up. For the last couple of hours, it was just Caleb and me. 

And suddenly, sitting on the sidelines wasn’t really an option anymore.

I used to love amusement parks. Years ago, I would have been the first one in line for every ride. But these days are different. Heat, dizziness, and exhaustion have a way of changing the experience.

But Caleb wanted to ride.

So I rode.

Twice in a row, we climbed onto the Music Express while Justin Bieber’s “Baby” blasted through the speakers. We whipped around the track while I sang along badly and Caleb laughed.

Then he decided he wanted to try the Time Machine.

He wasn’t sure he could do it. He stood there debating, looking up at the ride and working up his courage.

And then he did it.

We were launched into the air, spinning in circles. He was terrified and delighted all at once. We screamed. We laughed. We got off the ride grinning.

And for the rest of the afternoon, I followed wherever he wanted to go.

Even when I was dizzy.

Even when I wanted to sit down.

Even when my muscles ached.

And somewhere along the way, I stopped thinking about how tired I was.

I was too busy watching Caleb.

He’s always been a little more serious than most kids his age. He likes rules. He likes plans. He likes knowing what’s expected. He’s usually thinking three steps ahead, taking everything in, figuring things out.

So getting to spend a day watching him laugh freely felt like a gift.

For a few hours, he wasn’t thinking about a performance. He wasn't stressing about a test. He wasn’t worrying about doing things right.

He was just... a kid at an amusement park.

And then before I knew it, the day was over.

I felt a wave of relief as we made our way back to the car. I folded myself into the driver’s seat and headed for McDonald’s, already thinking about the large Diet Coke I’d been craving all day.

We got home exactly as I knew we would. I was sunburned. Exhausted. Sore. My face was red and my hair was tangled and all I wanted was to sit down.

But the funny thing about days like this is that those parts never seem to last.

Years from now, neither of us will remember how many times I needed to sit down. We won’t remember the heat. We won’t remember the aching muscles or how tired I was when we finally got home.

We’ll remember singing along to Justin Bieber on the Music Express.

We’ll remember Caleb deciding he was brave enough to ride the Time Machine.

We’ll remember laughing so hard we forgot to be afraid.

And I hope, years from now, that’s what stays with him.

Not that the day was hard.

Just that we laughed.

Just that we were brave.

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Dinner, and Then Yours Too (One Minute Memoir)

A Memoir of Taco Bell, Cheese Theft, and the Boy Who Never Says He’s Full

Setting: August 2025 — Sharing food with the unofficial family taste tester

We walked to Staples and Taco Bell with my mom and Caleb one August evening, setting out for school supplies and also ending up with dinner.

Holden, as usual, kept one eye on his own tray and the other on mine.

He ordered cheese potatoes and a quesadilla. I had a burrito, nachos, and cheese. Before he’d even unwrapped his quesadilla, he was angling for a bite of my burrito. Then he spotted my nachos.

“Just one,” I said, then watched as he scooped up enough cheese to coat a small pizza.

Seconds followed. Then thirds. All this before his quesadilla had so much as been opened. My cheese was disappearing faster than my patience.

“Alright,” I finally told him. “Eat your own quesadilla.”

I didn’t finish my burrito, and of course, he happily claimed the leftovers. He polished it off after eating all of his own food.

Apparently, my dinner had been part of his order all along.

During the course of the evening, he sent me twice to fetch more hot sauce, as if the quesadilla were just there to hold it. When I warned him to be careful, that it might burn his lips, he asked what that would feel like.

“Are your lips tingling?” I asked.

He nodded yes.

Then poured on more.

Some kids clear their plate.

Mine clears the table.

This post is part of my One-Minute Memoir series — short reflections on small moments that still manage to say something big.

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Recent Reads: May + June 2026

May and June were thriller-heavy reading months, with all three books landing in that twisty, unsettling, page-turning corner of my reading life. I read three books total over the two months, and while they were all very different, each one gave me some version of what I wanted: moral dilemmas, unreliable characters, trapped contestants, and secrets refusing to stay buried. One was a five-star standout, one was a really fun ride, and one was entertaining even if it got a little tangled along the way.

📖 Reading Snapshot

📊 By the Numbers

Books Read: 3

Average Rating: 4.0 stars

Rating Distribution:

★★★★★ 1
★★★★☆ 1
★★★☆☆ 1

🎯 Yearly Progress

Yearly Reading Goal: 16 / 100

16%

Reading Pace: 34 books behind schedule
Average Time to Finish: 11.3 days
Average Pace: 0.62 books/week
Projected Year-End Total: 32 books

🏷️ Reading Mix

Fiction (3)
Thriller (3)

📚 Formats & Sources

Formats

eBook (3)

Sources

Kindle Unlimited (2) For Review (1)

📖 Book Reviews

The Privilege

Author: A.R. Hollowell

Genre: Fiction · Thriller

Publication: 2026

Format & Source: eBook · For Review

Time to Read: 6 days

Rating: ★★★★★

A therapist is caught in an impossible moral dilemma when one patient confesses to a fatal hit-and-run, and the victim’s mother becomes her patient just days later. Bound by confidentiality but haunted by what she knows, she has to decide how far duty can stretch before it becomes its own kind of harm.

The premise of this one grabbed me immediately. A therapist knowing the truth about a death but being legally unable to say anything? That is exactly the kind of moral dilemma that makes me want to keep turning pages. And this book delivered on that setup. It was compelling, tense, and genuinely hard to put down. I liked that the suspense came not just from what happened, but from the impossible position the therapist was trapped in. Every option had consequences, and that made the whole story feel even more gripping.

This was a strong psychological thriller with a fascinating premise, and I’m already excited for the upcoming sequel.

⚡ Quick Take: A tense, addictive moral-dilemma thriller that completely delivered on its premise.

Drowning in Paper Flowers

Author: E.L. Westbury

Genre: Fiction · Thriller

Publication: 2024

Format & Source: eBook · Kindle Unlimited

Time to Read: 16 days

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Ruby Powell appears to have the perfect life, but beneath the polished façade lies a troubled marriage, family secrets, and a past that refuses to stay buried. As the line between truth and deception begins to blur, everything around her starts to unravel.

This was a solid thriller with an interesting cast of unreliable characters and a few twists that genuinely caught me off guard.

There was almost too much happening at times, with so many subplots that the story occasionally felt convoluted and a little difficult to follow. Even so, it kept me engaged throughout. It may not be the most memorable thriller I've read, but it was an entertaining one.

⚡ Quick Take: An entertaining thriller with plenty of twists, even if it occasionally gets tangled in its own story.

Stay

Author: Zoe Cross

Genre: Fiction · Thriller

Publication: 2026

Format & Source: eBook · Kindle Unlimited

Time to Read: 12 days

Rating: ★★★★☆

Ten strangers enter an underground bunker to compete in a reality show for a $2 million prize, but when something goes terribly wrong, they're trapped inside with no way out.

This was a genuinely fun thriller. I always enjoy stories with a reality TV angle, and pairing that with a locked-room survival scenario made for a really engaging read.

Watching the contestants slowly unravel as the days passed was one of my favorite parts, and I was desperate to find out what had happened to leave them trapped underground. The story kept me hooked with a few surprising twists, and I'll definitely be reading more from Zoe Cross.

⚡ Quick Take: A tense, entertaining survival thriller that kept me guessing until the end.

🏆 Favorite Book of May & June

The Privilege by A.R. Hollowell

A gripping moral-dilemma thriller that completely delivered on its fascinating premise.

That’s a wrap on these two months of reading. Here’s to finding another story worth staying up too late for. 📚

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We Still Went

On memories, mess, and the traditions we make on purpose

I’ve been thinking a lot about traditions lately.

Not the ones you grow up with. The ones you have to build yourself.

The kind you have to create on purpose. The kind that don’t just happen unless you make them happen. 

And that part is exhausting, if I’m being honest. Most days, I come home from work and want to crawl straight into bed. I don’t have extra energy just sitting around waiting to be turned into meaningful moments.

But we try anyway. 

That’s why we ran together last year. Partly for the exercise, partly because I had something to prove to myself… but mostly because I wanted something that was ours. Just me and my boys, out in the evenings, moving forward together and getting ready for our yearly Turkey Trot.

That’s why we go to Bingo. We make them go. They complain about it. Some nights, when we aren’t winning fast enough, it ends in frustration or tears. But I still see it. The way they stand up from their seats and spin for luck. The way they immediately try to claim my prizes. My mom’s prizes. By the time we leave, they’re carrying an armful of candy like they earned every piece of it.

That’s why I take them to the movies when something comes out they want to see. We go on Tuesdays because it’s discount night. We sneak in candy and drinks, but we always buy the popcorn. I sit through movies I don’t even like, like the Mario movie, just hoping it becomes something they remember fondly later.

And the funny thing is, the memory they're making and the moment I'm living are seldom the same. 

It's me sitting between them so they don't fight. Maybe what they'll remember is that we always sat together.

It's me whisper-yelling at Holden when he gets too loud. Maybe what he'll remember is laughing through the movie.

It's me getting up halfway through to refill the popcorn. Maybe what they'll remember is that we never ran out.

It's chaos in a dark room with a sticky floor.

And somehow, that's the memory we're making.

There are days when it feels more like effort than memory-making. It isn't always what I pictured for our lives.

But years from now, I don't think they'll remember the chaos, the fighting, or even the sticky floors.

I think they'll just remember that we went.

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