It’s been about a month since I got my bed, sleep, and sanity back — and let me tell you, life has improved greatly. We’re all less tired, less stressed, and better rested. We’re finally enjoying our personal space again, and Caleb is getting re-accustomed to his own room.
So let me tell you a little story.
Before Caleb was born, Jerry and I stressed the importance of keeping the baby out of our bed at all costs. He slept in a Rock and Play beside our bed for the first nine weeks or so, and then he moved to his crib. It was an almost seamless transition. Life was good, and Caleb slept from 7 PM to 7 AM in his crib every night with little to no fuss.
Then around 11 months, sleep started to fall apart. One innocent night of letting him in our bed so we could all get some rest turned into six months of sleep torture, my friends.
You think I’m being overdramatic, right? Maybe I am. But I’m one of those people who really needs sleep. If I don’t get it, I’m irritable as hell — which is why the newborn phase was such a struggle for me.
Anyway, if we tried to put Caleb back in his crib, he’d scream and scream — and he could go on for hours. So he moved back into our room. We weren’t thrilled, but we were desperate. Both of us work, and no one was functioning well on no sleep. So we brought in a Pack and Play, and while he’d sometimes sleep in there (with a big pillow and blanket), he almost always ended up in our bed.
And for such a tiny human, he somehow took up the entire king-size bed. Jerry and I would cling to the edges while His Royal Highness snoozed in the center, rotating like a rotisserie chicken — elbows and feet to the face included. No matter how many times we repositioned him, we’d wake up to the same chaos.
It wasn’t good, my friends. It wasn’t good.
His doctor, his physical therapist, coworkers, and countless well-meaning friends all insisted: Crying it out will work. They swore that if we just stuck to it, he’d adjust and sleep through the night in his crib.
We tried — half-heartedly, a few times — and always gave up when midnight rolled around and he was still screaming. Back to our room we went. Caleb from the crying, and us from listening to the crying — we were all wrecked.
Finally, a month ago, we hit our breaking point. We were exhausted. Frustrated. One of us was sleeping on the couch more nights than not because we couldn’t deal with the kicks and flailing limbs. This tiny tot had taken over the house. So we made a resolution: we were going to really do it this time. Cry it out — for real.
The first night was the hardest. Caleb cried for two full hours. The method we followed instructed us to check in without picking him up — just a pat on the belly and some reassuring words.
It goes like this: wait five minutes before the first check-in. Then ten. Then fifteen. Each interval increases, giving them more time to fall asleep on their own.
So we took shifts, returning to his room with each passing interval. We’d find him standing in the crib, screaming his head off, looking utterly betrayed. It was brutal. I tried distracting myself with books or TV, anything to stop me from running in there and scooping him up. A few times, we found him curled around his stuffed bear, whimpering — and it shattered us. But we kept going.
Two hours the first night. Ninety minutes the second. Then 60. Then 30. Then 15.
And then… he barely cried at all.
Now? Caleb goes down without a fuss. Say what?!
In those early weeks, he’d get upset even when we entered his room to grab clothes or diapers. But he got used to it. We’d tried playing in his room to make it more familiar, but it never really helped — maybe it works for other kids, but ours is stubborn and strong-willed.
There were a couple of setbacks — a random hour-long meltdown after a week of peace — but that’s normal. The key is: we didn’t give in. He hasn’t spent a single night in our bed since we started. Some nights he’ll still wake up and fuss, but he usually settles himself back down within a few minutes. (Pro tip: a video monitor is a game changer for anxious parents.)
We were the biggest skeptics of the Cry It Out Method. We swore it wouldn’t work for our determined child. But after talking to his pediatrician — who reassured us it was okay and not harmful — we finally committed.
And wow… it worked.
My coworkers (seasoned moms themselves) used to gently scold me for letting Caleb be the boss. I finally walked into work one morning — well-rested for once — and proudly declared that we were doing it. My boss told me I looked better rested. I felt better rested.
I’m so relieved that the sleep struggles are behind us. It wasn’t easy, especially at first. But it was the right decision. Caleb is happy, rested, and not the least bit resentful — which I fully admit I worried about. He’s even stopped asking for bedtime milk, and we’ll tackle the binky next.
For now, I’m just thrilled to have my bed back. I never thought we’d get here.
It wasn’t easy. In fact, it kind of sucked. But in the end? It worked. And honestly, that sleep was worth every single minute of crying.
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