Finding chemistry, commitment, and community one post at a time
I’m always on the lookout for new blogs to read. Along the way, I've realized it’s a lot like dating.
What do I look for in a potential blogger? Let’s break it down.
I’m all about bloggers who keep it real. I love reading blogs written by people in similar situations to me (20- or 30-somethings, moms, working moms, etc.), but I also enjoy reading bloggers who are in completely different phases of life. It’s refreshing to get both perspectives.
And it makes me wonder... do opposites attract? Or is it better to find someone who shares similarities with you? It’s a toss-up. But above all, there has to be that “click,” the connection. The same kind of connection you look for when you’re dating someone. You know the one I mean.
Finding the Perfect Blogger (or Date)
When I’m looking for a new blog to follow, I usually start by scanning through the comments on other blog posts. If I see a name that stands out, I’ll click over to their blog. From there, it’s the AGONIZING decision of whether or not I’ll want to follow. Oh lawd, help me. Will there be chemistry? It’s like when you’re scrolling through a dating profile, and you see a photo that sparks interest. You’ve just GOT to click on it, right?
Once I’ve found a potential blog to follow, the first thing I do is click over to the “about me” page. If it’s too sparse or nonexistent, I’ll pass. I need to know who I’m dealing with. If the page gives me enough info, I move on to the next step: a quick scroll through their latest posts. This is the make-or-break moment for me. If I find posts that resonate, I’ll follow. If not, it’s a swift “bye, girl.”
Isn’t this how it works on dating sites too? From what I hear, you have to dig into those nooks and crannies of a profile. Who is this person? Does he use proper grammar?
I’ll probably pass if the blog consists mostly of advice, tutorials, tips, or shopping lists. Those blogs have their place, but that’s not what I'm here for. Fashion, makeup, and clothing blogs? Not my jam. I need personality. I want to connect with you, not just learn how to apply makeup or pick out a shirt. The blogs I’m drawn to are lifestyle blogs — the ones that give me a glimpse into your life, your experiences, the ups and downs, and what’s truly going on behind the screen.
So now you know what I’m not looking for. Here’s what I am looking for — and what you’d find on my blog dating profile:
"Hi, I’m Steph, and I’m in search of blogs that share personal posts about who you are and what you’re experiencing. I want posts about your daily life, your goals, your challenges, and whatever else crosses your mind. I want to know you, and I want you to be real with me. If YOU shine through, I’m interested. Call me, girl."
I want to read blogs that are honest and genuine, that showcase the writer’s true self. Bonus points for vulnerability now and then. I want to see the highs and the lows because that’s how friendships are built — and blogging, for me, is all about making connections. I don’t want a fake blogger. I want someone I can relate to, who will let me into their world. And humor? Sarcasm? I’m all for it, but that’s negotiable. I’m not in it for "long walks on the beach" or "taller than me" — if you’re a good companion, I’m in.
Making Contact
Once I find a blogger I like, it’s time to get to know them, much like beginning a new relationship. I tread lightly, reading a few posts before diving in with my first comment. That first comment is always a little awkward, right? Do I just comment casually like I’ve been here before, or do I announce I’m new? Am I intruding? It’s like sending that first message on a dating app. Sigh — the stress. The anticipation.
Then, it happens. I find the perfect post to comment on, one where I can relate or have something meaningful to say. I hit "submit," and then… the wait. Will they like me back? Will they follow me? Or will I feel rejected, like that awkward date who didn’t get a call back? Boo.
If they respond? HOORAY! A new connection has blossomed. It’s like the honeymoon phase of a relationship — so exciting!
If they don’t respond? I start second-guessing myself. Did I say the right thing? Was I too forward? Finding the perfect words can be tricky. First impressions, after all, are everything.
Building a Relationship
Once the initial comments are out of the way, we’ve figured out we like each other (cue the heart eyes), it’s time to start building that relationship. Slowly, we get to know each other more through our posts, just like dating and discovering each other’s quirks. What’s your favorite color? Do you like dogs?
A new post appears in my feed, and it’s like getting a text asking to see me again. SWOON! Time to dig in, learn more, and keep the connection going.
As our blog friendship grows, I sometimes take it to the next level — an Instagram follow or Facebook friend request. It’s like becoming real-life friends! Sweet!
Once we’re officially in the "friends" zone, it’s the real deal. We’re here for the long haul.
Long-Term Commitment... or Casual Fling?
Once the initial "getting to know you" phase is over, it’s time to decide if this is going to be a long-term relationship or just a casual fling. Some blogs are just that — a fling. I’ll check in every now and then, but the connection doesn’t really grow. The relationship stays surface-level. I’m okay with that. But it’s not where I want to invest the most time.
Then there are the true blog friendships. The ones you commit to. You read all their posts. You’re genuinely invested in their lives. You comment regularly, celebrate their wins, send virtual hugs when they’re going through hard times. These are the blog relationships that matter — the ones that turn into long-term friendships. You get comfortable with these bloggers, and they become part of your daily life.
I’ve been lucky enough to have blog friendships that have lasted for nearly 10 years. Some I’ve known for less time but have grown close to because we had that instant chemistry. It’s like a lasting, fulfilling relationship where we know each other deeply — the highs, the lows, the real, the messy, the beautiful. It’s the best.
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
I don’t like breaking up with a blogger, but sometimes it’s necessary. If a blog becomes inactive, I’ll delete it from my feed (why’d you stop calling me??). Sometimes, I just realize that I no longer relate to their content. But when I find a blogger who sticks around, who’s in it for the long haul — that’s the real win.
Because when you find that one blogger who gets you, who makes you laugh, who you can count on through thick and thin? That’s when blogging is at its best.
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