Long time, no update in this series, I know… but I finally did it! I had my surgery!
But let's back up a little...
I quit the program I'd been outlining in this series all of last year. It was awful, my nutritionist was demoralizing, and I never felt encouraged or supported. So I gave up on the journey for awhile. Earlier this year though, I decided to try again. I wasn't ready to give up, so I got involved in a new bariatric program with a different hospital. It was a lifechanging decision. The whole process ended up being amazing, painless, seamless, encouraging… you name it, and it was just great all around. I loved my surgeon (the first female bariatric surgeon in our region), the nurses, the support staff... everyone. It was a night and day difference between the two programs. It meant starting over, but it was worth it in all aspects. Anyway, here's what my new program looked like as well as the timeline.
Intake / Transfer Appointment | February 23
This was an over the phone visit with the program’s nurse navigator. She’s a wonderful lady who guides you through the entire program, and at this time, I officially “joined” their program. We discussed what my timeline would look like, what I would need to do to complete the checklist, scheduled my next appointments and recorded my first weigh-in (I needed a total of 6 months worth of weigh-ins). I also was told to get bloodwork before my next appointment. Weigh-in 1/6.
Physical with Surgeon’s PA | March 23
Next I had to do my intake physical at the office. This was an in-depth physical of my health history. At this time, we went over my bloodwork, and I was started on prescription Vitamin D to get those levels up before surgery. Weigh-in 2/6.
Psychological Evaluation | March 25
This was a repeat, since I did this in my first program as well, but I didn’t mind. I did this over the phone with the same counselor and it was quick and painless. It took about 30 minutes. Basically, they just want to get a feel for if you’re mentally prepared to make the necessary lifestyle changes. Can you find healthier ways to cope with stress and emotions since you physically can’t emotionally eat anymore? That kind of thing.
Nutrition One-on-One #1 | April 13
Typically, you first have to attend a lengthy nutrition seminar before you move on to your nutrition one-on-one appointments, but I was able to skip right to my one-on-ones. They allowed me to do this since I already took the seminar in my previous program. So for this one, I had a phone appointment with the dietitian where we started discussing the “rules” of bariatric eating, and new meal and snack ideas that are healthy and high in protein. I was also instructed to create a sample meal plan for next time. Weigh-in 3/6.
Endoscopy and Colonoscopy | May 10
Oof. This was a big, scary one for me, and actually wasn’t required in my first program. I was very nervous, but it ended up being so easy. Even the full day colonoscopy prep wasn’t bad (except for the taste of the cleansing medication… awful). Anyway, the endoscopy is a requirement for everyone, and while the colonoscopy is NOT, they had me do one because of a medical concern. Anyway, Jerry dropped me off at the hospital, they put me to sleep, and about 35-40 minutes later, they woke me up and I was shocked that it was done already. No pain, no problems, nothing!
(Just an interesting little aside here: an endoscopy wasn’t required in my old program. In my old program though, I had to do a sleep study, an ultrasound, and a fecal sample, none of which were required in my new program, so holy crap, I’ve done even MORE testing than most people.)
Nutrition One-on-One #2 | May 13
This was the second phone session with the dietitian. We went over my sample meal plans that I had worked on and just general rules for how I would be eating after surgery and the rest of my life. I was so nervous and anxious for this, you guys. I went through I believe SIX appointments with the dietitian in my first program, and she still refused to clear me for surgery. Well, at the end of this appointment, my new dietitian was pleased with my progress and everything that I had learned and she CLEARED ME FOR SURGERY! This would be my last nutrition session and she would pass me on to the next stage. I honestly felt elated in that moment. It felt like Christmas. Weigh-in 4/6.
Endoscopy Follow Up with Surgeon | June 11
This was a big day because I got to meet my surgeon! This was a follow up to go over my endoscopy and colonoscopy results. I would have met her DURING those procedures, but another surgeon from the practice actually did those because I needed a colonoscopy, and my surgeon doesn’t do those, she just does endos. Anyway, the results were fine. She wanted me to get labwork done to check my Vitamin D again, and that was about it. It was nice to meet the woman whose hands I was putting my life in, and I liked her. She wasn’t necessarily warm and fuzzy, but she was laidback, approachable, and friendly, with a good bedside manner. Also… young and pretty cool! I liked her! We also scheduled my surgical consult! I knew it was a big deal because when I was scheduling it at check-out, the secretary said “congratulations!” Weigh-in 5/6.
All Consult with Surgeon | July 9
An amazing day, an incredible feat, a huge accomplishment… you get the idea! I probably sound like a jerk, but I worked so hard, and to see this day finally arrive felt like nothing short of a miracle. Anyway, my all consult (I don’t know why they call it that) was my surgical consultation with my surgeon where we went over all the final steps, signed papers, went over possible complications, went over my vitamin regime, and things like that. She described the procedure in detail, had me make my final choice of procedure (there are two kinds: sleeve and RNY, and I had RNY), and also had me choose my hospital (she operates out of two). This would be the last time I’d see her before the big day, and was essentially the “stamp of approval” where she passed me off to surgical scheduling. She told me they’d call me in about two weeks, and that I’d be scheduled out probably late August or early September. So then I sat eagerly waiting by my phone, and to my shock, they freaking called me just a couple of days later. My appointment was on a Friday, and they called me on a Monday and said my surgery would be on August 9… less than a month! Cue the panic, shock, and utter excitement! Weigh-in 6/6!
Teaching Class | July 22
This is a wrap up class they send you to right before surgery to give you a refresher of everything you learned, and go over what the days before, day of, and days after surgery will look like. It was held at the hospital with the nurse navigator, and a few other patients who will have surgery around the same time. It was pretty helpful and gave me a little boost of confidence so that I felt better knowing what to expect.
Pre-op Testing and Physical | July 23
Another trip to the hospital for final labs, tests, and a physical with a doctor at the surgical center. They also give you some instructions about surgery like meds you'll be taking, when to stop, and give you some special body wash.
Liquid Diet | August 4-8
I had to go on a liquid diet for five days leading up to surgery. This is also known as a liver shrinking diet. Since the liver is so close to the stomach, this is done to shrink your liver so the surgeon can more easily access your stomach. I was only allowed three protein shakes a day, plus clear liquids.
I lost five pounds during the liquid diet, for a grand total of 25 pounds lost from the time I started the program to the day of surgery (2/23/21 — 8/9/21)!
SURGERY DAY | August 9, 2021
The day I changed my life! The day I worked so hard for!
Jerry and I had to be at the hospital at 6 am for a 7:30 surgery time. I honestly felt mostly calm at this point. I think the fact that I waited so long to get this surgery meant that I had a lot of time to prepare. Anyway, they brought me back to the surgery pre-op area and I had two really nice nurses who worked with me. They even called Jerry back after a bit so he could come back and sit with me. I had to get all kinds of medications, a heparin shot (of which I would receive a thousand more), compression socks, and a electric massaging thing for my legs, etc. I got to meet the anesthesiologist and his assistant, who were really nice, and then finally my surgeon and her PA came back to see me. That was a comfort to me because she was so calm and confident and I felt good that I made the right choice in choosing her as my surgeon. Next thing I knew, they were wheeling me out, and the last thing I remember was turning a corner in the hallway before I was knocked out.
I don’t remember waking up, but I believe my procedure was about three hours and ended shortly after 10:30. The entire day was a blur. Funny enough, my friend and former trainer, Scott, is a nurse at the hospital, which I knew, but I didn’t know he worked in post-op. Apparently he saw me, I said I was nauseous, and he gave me some medication. I kind of remember dozing in and out and him asking me if I knew who it was. It was all such a blur though that I thought I had hallucinated, so I messaged him later and he confirmed that it had actually happened. HA!
And then I have vague recollections of opening my eyes a time or two and seeing a clock. I guess this was all in the post-op area, and apparently I was back there for several hours before they had my room ready for me in the surgical unit. While they had called Jerry immediately after my surgery to tell him it had gone well, they didn’t call him again for hours, not until my room was ready, so he and my family were getting nervous. I had no idea. I guess late in the afternoon, they finally got me into the room. Jerry told me about all of this, but I remember basically none of it.
Of course I had pain because I had four incisions in my belly, as well as a small one for a drain, but it was decently managed with pain meds and I had a button for that. I was encouraged to walk around the halls as frequently as possible though to avoid blood clots, and man, did that hurt! Standing up was the worst part because my freaking insides had just been cut up. I even had to use a walker a couple of times to pull myself up. Then off I would go, walking with my little IV pole!
I stayed two nights / three days. My memory basically only starts the day after surgery. Jerry and my parents came to visit several times. Scott, my nurse friend, also surprised me with a visit, as did my Aunt Julie who works there! It was really nice to have people stop in because it helped break up my day.
I could suck on ice the day of surgery, and could sip water the next. Bariatric patients have to be very careful, and are given 2 oz medicine cups of water which we need to try and sip slowly over a 15 minute time period, every 15 minutes. Our stomachs are so small that we have to take in very small amounts at first. In fact, when I took my pills the next night, I took them quite fast and then got a little nauseous because I was (and still am!) getting adjusted to how small my stomach is and how much I can tolerate at one time. The next day, they began giving me clear liquids as my “meals,” which consisted of broth, jello, tea, protein gel, and diet lemonade. Throughout my time, I had to continue logging my medicine cup water intake every 15 minutes. I was on liquid IVs CONSTANTLY because of the lack of nutrition. I was also given five bags of potassium and one bag of magnesium. The potassium was INCREDIBLY painful. It felt like acid. The nurse had to tamper it down on several occasions. That was one of the worst parts of the entire experience.
I had to do a leak test at one point, where I had to drink a contrast dye and then get an X-ray so they could watch and make sure nothing was leaking inside. I had to stand and the dye almost made me vomit, as did shifting to that standing position. I couldn’t finish the drink, but they said it was sufficient, and let me stop.
I also had a nurse who was pretty unpleasant. She also wouldn’t let me change out of a yellow gown (fall risk) to a blue gown (independent), but another nurse did later. I didn’t mind, but I just thought it was funny. The other nurse did it after they took my catheter out and I wanted to use the bathroom. She saw that I didn’t need help, so she graduated me to blue. Anyway, I asked the rude nurse on five separate occasions over two days for a stomach binder (which my surgeon recommended), but she always had a reason why she didn’t have it for me.
When the surgeon came to check on me at one point, I told her about the binder situation. She walked out and came back with one in less than two minutes. Huh. Interesting, right? She helped me put it on and showed me how to do it myself. It felt really good to have that on. It felt like it was holding all my intestines and incisions in place. It was a relief, but pretty frustrating that I didn’t get it until my last day at the hospital. My surgeon also made a protein drink for me and was pretty hilarious, acting like it was a bar drink.
I got discharged in the evening of my third day, and it was quite a relief!
Post Surgery and Recovery
Recovery has been a bit harder than I expected, but I have no regrets and would do it again in a heartbeat. I am now on a progressive diet, which is standard for bariatric patients. I started on clear liquids only for two days, then I could add in two protein shakes a day until my first surgeon follow-up. I was allowed to start on pureed foods after the follow-up with my surgeon on August 20. I’ll be allowed to start on soft foods on September 3. Our portions are very small, we have to eat very slowly, we are on hardcore vitamins for life, and we cannot drink for 30 minutes before or after eating.
My pain is just now starting to taper off. I was going to go back to work after one week, but by the second week I still felt like complete crap and had to take a second week off. I just returned this week on August 23.
My first two weeks postop were awful. Pain was moderate, but my main issue was feeling very weak, lightheaded, and I had ZERO energy. Every time I stood up, I was out of breath, seeing black, and feeling like I would topple over. I had to grab the wall to stop from falling. I was supposed to be drinking two protein shakes a day, but they were making me sick, so I was hardly getting anything in my stomach, so I knew that was part of it.
First Surgeon Follow-up and Hospitalization | August 20
As mentioned above, I had that first follow-up with the surgeon on August 20, and she knew I was not doing well. My heartrate was through the roof (130s) which concerned her, as did my other symptoms. I do have tachycardia, so it runs slightly high, but not THAT high. She ran through my appointment as quickly as possible. She talked to me about moving onto purees, talked about my weight (down 12 pounds since surgery with a goal of 15 more before my next appointment in a month), and checked my incisions. Two had some bumps underneath that we need to monitor, but the outsides all look okay for the most part. My right bottom lung is diminished right now, which is another concern (likely caused by anesthesia) so I have to use a spirometer daily for the time being.
After we went over all of this, she immediately sent me down to the ER (her office is in the hospital). She called security and had him bring me down in a wheelchair. She ordered about 15 vials of bloodwork (so many tests that the ER doctor chuckled, though I’m glad she was thorough), a CT scan, and chest x-rays. I was there for six hours. I had two bags of fluid, because it turned out I was extremely dehydrated, and that was what caused my HR to be so high. Results came back, and everything looked fine! YAY! The ER doc was ready to discharge me, so she called the surgeon, but she wanted one more blood check to make sure I was hydrated enough, so we did that, and then about an hour later… I was free!
I am now back to work, trying to drink more water (bari patients need at least 64 ounces a day), and eating my purees. I eat about two ounces, every 2-3 hours, and because of this, my energy is coming back and I am not feeling as dizzy. Bari patients are supposed to eat 60-80 grams of protein a day which I’m struggling with right now on such small portions, but I still need to step it up in this department.
Feeling Happy!
There were so many times I thought this wasn’t going to happen for me. When you count the old program plus my current one (which took just under six months), it took me over a year and a half from start to finish. Once I joined the new program, I felt so much more confident in myself and believed that I could do it, but last year in the old program, gosh… it was rough. The dietitian put me down every step of the way, and flat out TOLD ME I couldn’t do it. We had our first appointment together in March of 2020 the week the lockdown went in place and I was stress eating and being honest with her, and she told me on more than one account that because of that, I wasn’t a good candidate. That honestly put a fire in my belly. The lock screen on my phone has been “I can and I will. Watch me” ever since then.
Most days, I am still in shock and disbelief that I finally did it. I still can’t believe I finally had the surgery. This process has been BAR NONE the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve run the gamut of emotions. I’ve felt defeated. Terrified. I’ve questioned myself, scared I might die. I’ve imagined my future. Felt hopeful. Elated. But most of all, more than ALL of those things combined, I’ve felt proud. I FEEL proud. I get emotional sometimes just thinking of everything I did and everything I put myself through to get here, right here, right where I am, right now. It was all worth it in the end. Maybe I wouldn’t even change the year I spent in the first program, because it made me want it more. It made me work harder. It showed me again that I don’t back down. That you can tell me no, but the answer is still going to be yes. And that’s the good side of being stubborn. Y’all know I’m stubborn, right? I’ve only mentioned it about 800 times.
So… here I am. Finally… FINALLY on the other side. I am ready to truly start living again in all the ways that I want to. To feel like me again, the me that has always been here, just hiding a little below the surface. I’m doing it right now.
“I can and I will.”
And I did.
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