A Love Letter to Rent
In the fall of 2005, a brand new movie called Rent found its way into my life — and, as dramatic as it sounds, it changed it.
I was in tenth grade, already deep into a love affair with musicals. My friends and I made our own music videos, staged mini-productions, and could belt show tunes with the best of them. So when Rent — the beloved stage musical turned film — hit theaters the night before Thanksgiving, we went. I fell hard.
For 13 years, it’s been a constant in my life. Some years it’s been front and center — the soundtrack on repeat, every lyric memorized, every line quoted, "Seasons of Love" still sending chills down my spine. Other years, it fades to the background. But like my books, my blog, or my dog, it’s always there — a touchstone I can return to when I need it.
The First Rush
After that first viewing, my friends and I devoured the soundtrack. It was a glorious two-disc set, and I bought it almost immediately. When classmates asked to borrow it, I politely declined — it was my prized possession.
By February 2006, my Rent high hadn’t worn off. The DVD was being released while I was visiting my grandmother in Florida. Best Buy was offering a free Rent calendar with purchase, and I talked about it so much that week I’m sure I drove my mom, aunt, and grandma mad. We got there early so I could get my copy and the calendar. It was smaller than I’d imagined, but I loved knowing I could now watch Rent whenever I wanted.
That same year in a computer class, we learned image editing. I recreated the Rent cover with photos of my friends and me. Taylor and I posed in my dad’s studio, and I superimposed us over a multicolored background. I struck my very best Mimi pose.
Broadway for the First Time
In 2006, for my 17th birthday, my parents took me to New York City for the first time so I could see Rent on Broadway at the Nederlander Theatre. My dad and I went to the show while my mom and brother explored the city with our Staten Island relatives who were hosting us.
We were in the second-to-last row, but when the first notes rang out, it didn’t matter. I was in my element. My favorite musical, in the place where musicals are made. I fell in love with the city instantly — it met and exceeded every expectation I had. I was engrossed and enchanted throughout the show, the happiest I had ever been. Looking back now, I realize how fortunate we were to have gone when we did. The show closed shortly after, in 2008, after a 12 year run of over 5,000 performances. I guess I wasn't the only one who believed in the magic!
After the show, my dad and I waited at the stage door. To our surprise, Will Chase — Roger himself — came strolling out. We asked for a photo, and he obliged. We met the rest of the family in Chinatown for dinner, buzzing about the night. Times Square that evening was electric. I was hooked — on Rent and on New York. My obsession continued to grow.
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| Will Chase |
When we got home a few days later, my dad suggested we send the photo to Will Chase for an autograph. He’d done the same with baseball players when he was younger. We mailed an 8x10 to the theater with a self-addressed stamped envelope and a note. Weeks later, it came back signed. That framed photo sat in my childhood bedroom until I moved out, then stayed in a box — but it still makes me smile when I see it. It brings back the excitement and magic I felt on the day the photo was taken.
Bringing It Home
That November, the national tour came to my city. My dad took my best friends and me, and we soaked up every second. Seeing it here, in our hometown, was thrilling. 2006 had become the year of Rent.
In 2007 I graduated and left for college about an hour away. I was excited for the independence, but it turned out I hated it. Even worse was my living situation, an apartment with three other girls, each in our own room. My roommates were loud and rude, the opposite of me. I holed up in my room almost all of the time, cried frequently, and became incredibly homesick. I had brought my DVD with me though, and watched it in bed. I was miserable being away from home for the first time, but somehow, Rent felt like home. Watching it back reminded me of that first magical night watching it in theaters and later watching it at home with my dad. Once, a roommate heard it playing outside of my door and exclaimed she loved it too — the one and only time we ever connected. I moved home after one miserable semester.
Star Power
In 2009, Rent returned to my town on a national tour — with Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal reprising their original Broadway roles as Mark and Roger (they also starred in the movie). My aunt and I already had our theater season tickets by this point, so of course we went. Even though she’s not a huge Rent fan, she was game and we had the time of our lives. Afterward, she led me around the lobby, where we met an ensemble member and the actress who played Joanne while they walked around collecting money for a fundraiser. We were able to snap a couple of pictures and I was enchanted once again. Another thrilling night.
The Less-Than-Stellar One
I didn’t see Rent again until 2013, when my local community college staged a production of it. By this time, it had closed on Broadway and hadn't come to town again, so I was eager to finally get my fix again somehow! My dad and I set out for a night on the town for a dad-daughter dinner date, then headed to the show. It was… not good. The singing was shaky, the acting weaker still. My dad suggested leaving early, but we stuck it out. The kids tried, but after seeing professional productions, it was impossible not to compare.
Since then, my Rent cup has been pretty much empty. My aunt and I continue to be season ticket holders to our local theater, and have seen dozens of shows by now, including another favorite: Wicked. But no matter what, I always measure each show to Rent in my mind, and nothing ever has, or ever will, top it.
The Long Wait Ends
In 2017, my aunt and I eagerly waited — as we do every year — for our local theater to announce the next season's lineup of shows (usually around 5 or 6 per year). They make an event out of it, but we typically just watch on Facebook instead as they unveil each one. That night, Rent appeared in the 2018 lineup for a special 20th anniversary tour. I screamed, clapped, and texted my aunt immediately. I'd finally be seeing it again!
On May 1, 2018 — nine long years since seeing my last professional performance — I walked into the theater and saw the familiar set. I was instantly transported. So many memories of my life with Rent came flooding back. Now 29, a mom of two, life heavier with responsibility, I wondered if I would still love it like I used to, if it would still feel the same.
It did. That morning, I’d teared up listening to the soundtrack — part pregnancy hormones, part deep affection. That night, during "Seasons of Love," I did something I’d never done before: quietly recorded a few seconds of audio on my phone, afraid I didn’t know when I’d get to see it again. I wanted to hold onto it, to be able to savor it until I could see it again.
A Picky Fan
I’ll admit it — I’m a Rent snob. Over the years, I’ve seen it in some of its most unforgettable forms, including the tour where Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp reprised their original Broadway roles. Those performances set the bar sky-high for me, and I can’t help but compare every new production to the versions etched into my memory.
That’s why I notice everything — a line sung in a different tone, a lyric skipped, a note that doesn’t quite land. I could sing the entire soundtrack from start to finish without missing a word, so even the smallest changes stand out. Most of the cast in this latest tour was fantastic, but I had a hard time with the actress playing Mimi. Her voice just felt off to me, and it pulled me out of the moment now and then.
Still, nitpicks aside, the magic was there. I left the theater walking on air, reminded that no matter how many times I’ve seen it, Rent still has the power to make me feel the way it did the very first time.
Why Rent Will Always Matter to Me
It’s hard to explain exactly why Rent means so much to me. Yes, the music is incredible, the story is both hopeful and heartbreaking, and it’s unapologetically raw, gritty, and real. But the deeper truth is that it became a lifeline at a time when I needed one.
I was 16 when I first saw it — shy, quiet, and unsure of myself. The characters were all so different from the norm, yet they were loved, accepted, and celebrated for exactly who they were. They taught me it was okay to be unapologetically me. Through their stories, I also learned a lesson I’ve struggled with my whole life because of anxiety: to live for today. I’ve always been the type to worry about the future and dwell on the past, but Rent has been a steady reminder that what truly matters is right now — because nothing else is guaranteed.
It also gave me a bond with some of the most important people in my life. My dad, who dove into conversations about the lyrics with me. We’d debate our favorite songs, talk about which characters we loved most, and share in the excitement every time we got to see it live. My aunt, who chased actors down with me after a show, even if it wasn't her favorite. My best friends, Taylor and Chris, who were always by my side in those early years when we were obsessed with the soundtrack and the show. I will always be nostalgic for that time, when we shared everything, and fondly remember the night we saw it on tour in 2006, excitedly listening to the soundtrack as my dad drove us to the theater.
Rent tells us to “measure your life in love,” and those memories are proof that I have — and still do. All these years, through new seasons of life, changing cities, and shifting priorities, it’s been my soundtrack — a reminder to love boldly, live fully, and never take a single day for granted.
No day but today.
On Broadway: 1
National Tour: 3
College Production: 1
Years in my life: 13
Note: my long-term memory is not so great, and I picked the brains of a lot of people to help fill in the gaps with this piece. Many thanks to my dad, Chris, Taylor, Aunt Karin, and the Rochester Broadway Theater League for helping me to remember dates and details.
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