It’s been quite awhile since I’ve given you any sort of update about my weight loss surgery journey, so I’m here to fix that today!
Last you heard, I had completed my nutrition seminar all the way back in February. After that, I scheduled several more mandatory appointments and started logging my food in the Baritastic app. I’ll go over those appointments in more detail in the next week or so, but several had to be canceled and indefinitely postponed due to the Coronavirus elephant in the room… and that’s part of why you haven’t heard more from me lately about my process. No fear though, I am still pursuing it, but the timeline has been pushed back for now.
Today, I wanted to talk about the setbacks and struggles I’m going through being in this odd and scary time we’re in. During this quarantine, I’ve had two nutrition “visits” over the phone (which would have typically been done in person), and have fessed up both times and talked things through with my dietician. Like many people right now, I am stressed, scared, and emotional… and one of my biggest obstacles with my weight is that I’m a big time emotional eater. Though I’d been cleaning up my eating and logging quite diligently after my nutrition seminar, shit kind of hit the fan when the pandemic started ramping up and I was officially sent home to work remotely. I was eating all kinds of junk because not only was I stressed and emotional, I’ve also been home all of the time. This has also resulted in some boredom eating, and being out of my routine has shot all of my willpower and strength. When I’m at work, I’m limited to eating what I’ve brought in for the day, but when I’m home… the possibilities are more endless.
Then we have the stress of worrying about the health of ourselves and our family members, the stress of trying to work from home, the stress of worrying about furloughs and lay offs, the stress of the kids and their chaos since we’re all locked in the house nearly all of the time. I’m someone who needs and likes routine, and we have no routine right now. It hasn’t been easy, and I have turned to sugar and chocolate — my two food besties — time and again for comfort. Crappy day? End it with a brownie. Kids shrieked for hours? Enjoy a cookie. These things soothe me temporarily in a time when I’ve needed a lot of soothing.
In a lot of ways, I’m really enjoying this time at home. I love not being busy and not running around like we usually do. I’ve been spending so much time with the kids that I usually miss out on while I’m at work. I’ve been reading a ton and catching up on SO many shows. I get to nap whenever I want, see my husband and kids for more than 2 hours a day, and wear sweatpants and t-shirts with no make up and crazy hair. This time has been good for my soul in a lot of ways, and for that I am grateful. But that doesn’t mean it’s been stress free, as mentioned above, and for that reason and so many more, I’ve been eating like crap.
After talking with my dietician last week, I’m trying to turn myself back around. I need to do this not only to prep for my surgery, but to prep for my new lifestyle and health in general. Occasional treats are fine! I don’t ever see a life where I NEVER enjoy chocolate again, but I’ve been overindulging big time, and just about every day. Things will be easier in this department when life returns to some semblance of normal, but for now I am stumbling through. I’ll forgive myself when I slip up, then I’ll try again the next day.
All we can do is try, right?
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