A Memoir on Morning Rituals, Targeted Advertising, and Ninety-dollar Solutions
Setting: August 2026 — Somewhere between the drive-through and financial irresponsibility
I get a large McDonald’s Diet Coke every day.
Every. Single. Day.
On workdays, I stop at the drive-through on my way in. On weekends, it’s one of the first things I do after I shower and get moving. At this point, it’s less of a beverage choice and more of a structural component of my life.
Sometimes I’m lying in bed at night, thirsty, already thinking about the Diet Coke I’m going to get the next morning.
This is probably not normal. But it is consistent.
A few months ago, I ordered a couple of drink coozies meant to keep cups or cans cold. They were fine. Or at least, fine in the way that something technically works but does not actually solve your problem.
My Diet Coke would stay colder for a little while, but if I was drinking slowly, which I often do, eventually the ice would melt and I’d be left with increasingly warm, increasingly watered-down soda. Some days it takes me three or four hours to finish one.
Clearly, something had to be done.
Then Facebook showed me an ad for Frost Buddy. This was not just another insulated tumbler. This thing was specifically designed so you could slide a large McDonald’s drink directly into it.
Finally, targeted advertising had stopped trying to sell me clothes and started addressing my actual problems!
I clicked.
One was $45. That felt a little ridiculous. Then I saw that shipping was free if I added something else.
So naturally, instead of spending $45 on an insulated holder for my Diet Coke, I spent $90 on two insulated holders for my Diet Coke.
Financially, flawless.
They arrived, and I immediately put one to work. My McDonald’s cup slid right inside. Hours passed. I kept drinking. And drinking.
Four hours later, there was still ice in my cup.
I regret nothing.
This post is part of my One-Minute Memoir series — short reflections on small moments that still manage to say something big.
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