Caleb is six today!
The boy who made me a mom — and the best boy there ever was.
This morning, he woke up and asked if he was taller now that he’s six. He even made me take a picture so he could check. And that’s Caleb for you.
When we had him, I had no idea what I was getting into. I felt like a bad mom more often than not — because I had to learn everything. I cried more nights than I care to count.
There’s still guilt, even now. Guilt from having to figure it all out with him. It felt like an experiment, and he was the one I was testing it on. And that’s a horrible feeling.
But now that he’s older, I understand why we were given him first. He was an amazing baby… and now, he’s an amazing boy.
He taught us how to be parents in the gentlest way. He was calm, quiet, sweet. At the time, he seemed difficult — but now that we have Holden the wild child? I know better.
Caleb is a little man in a child’s body. His soul is soft and kind. He cares about people more than most adults do. If I’m sad or worried or mad, he says, “It’s okay, Mommy. I’ll help ya.” He sees how people feel. And he tries to fix it.
He didn’t walk until he was almost two. He didn’t talk until he was three and a half. But by four, he could read an entire picture book cover to cover. His mind is brilliant.
And yes — I passed down some of my hardest traits to him, too. Anxiety. Worry. Nervousness. He’s quirky. Obsessive. He worries about things that don’t even make sense. He is, in so many ways, me as a child. And part of me hates that. But part of me knows — that’s why I understand him so well.
He is also everything I admire. Intuitive. Curious. Smart. He asks more questions than there are answers for. (He gets that from me, too.)
He can fix computers. If the TV stops working, I call him over to fix it — at five years old. (Now six.)
I’ve never known a child like him.
He is sweet. He is funny. He is gentle and caring. And no matter how many times I messed up as a new mom — and how many more times I’ll still mess up — I must have done something right to get him.
I’m so lucky to be this boy’s mom. Because to know Caleb… is to love him. You can’t meet him and not love him within a minute.
Happy birthday to my firstborn.
There is no one in the world I could ever love more.
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