Yesterday, my family and I got some very exciting and lifechanging news that’s going to happen in just a matter of days. Starting Monday, things are going to change for us in a major way! Please excuse the jumbled mess of thoughts below. We had very little advanced notice of our big news and my mind is running wild at the moment.
In case you missed it on Facebook or Instagram… here’s what I had to say.
Just got some of the very best news from the hubby! First, a little backstory: in October 2013, we got married. In November 2013, Jerry got hired for his current job working on nights.
He loves his workplace. It’s an amazing place to work with great benefits, so leaving for a day shift elsewhere has never been an option. He plans to be there for his entire career. So… we decided to stick it out, and for our entire marriage, have worked opposite shifts. It’s been extremely challenging and lonely, especially after we grew our family.
Well… hard work, determination, and patience has paid off, and we found out today that come Monday… he will be working on days! I am so proud and so happy and so relieved. We will get to have a normal life! Normal marriage, normal family life, and dinners together at home. Our boys will get to have you home at night. You’ll get to go to all their future activities. Excited for this next chapter and new journey. Congratulations, Jerry. I knew you would do it and you did.
You guys. I have been a “night shift wife” for our ENTIRE marriage. As in… we have never had a traditional or normal marriage. EVER.
As mentioned, it’s been very difficult and lonely for me. After Caleb came, I’ve felt like a single mom every night while home with him alone, and Jerry’s felt like a single dad every day while he’s home with him alone. It’s never been easy. It’s been challenging for us in terms of communication, and we’ve felt like ships passing in the night. A quick hello in the morning, then I was off to work. I got done with work, and he was already at work for the night. Weekends were our time, but sometimes I work weekends, so it’s never been a guarantee. It’s been hard on us and has tested our marriage. For five years now, we’ve said “one day, when you get on days…” We dreamed about it for so long, and then it happened so quickly, and I’m in this state of shock, excitement, overwhelm! I’m feeling so many things right now and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us.
I’ve done so many things with Caleb that Jerry never got to participate in: soccer, swimming, music.
We’ve done so many fun family dinners and outings with my parents and brother’s family that Jerry never got to be a part of.
I was always the third wheel, or the fifth wheel, and those are never fun things to be. Now, I finally don’t have to be. Jerry won’t miss out anymore. I won’t feel so lonely. I’ll have my partner with me… finally!
Now, I’m feeling like a bit of a newlywed since we went into our marriage only REALLY seeing each other a couple of days a week. It’s time to learn how to spend all of our evenings and weekends together for the first time since our engagement.
November 2013 was crazy for us. We moved into our house after our wedding and honeymoon, and Jerry started this job, all at the same time. Huge adjustments for brand spankin’ new newlyweds. That means that for the entire time we’ve been married and homeowners and parents, we’ve been apart more often than not. Now, I can finally feel normal. I have to learn how to cook! Week nights, Caleb and I have been spending with my parents. I head there after work to pick up Caleb, and we always stay for dinner. No point for me in cooking for just the two of us, or for us to be alone when we could spend time with family, ya know?
Now, I get to go home right after work. The idea of learning to cook for my family is daunting, but I feel like it’s a step that all newlyweds take, and I’m finally taking that step. It’s scary. It’s exciting. It’s silly, but it’s a major change. Not five minutes after Jerry called me with the news yesterday, I was already pulling up recipes and creating a meal plan for next week, our first week together as a family. We’ll be taking turns cooking, since he’s already a natural chef and I’m… not. He’ll be home before me 3 days of the week and will cook on those days, while I’ll cook the other 2. I’m looking forward to getting into a rhythm and learning how to do this, how to be a real wife and a real family. In addition to the mundane task of cooking, we will now to get to do OTHER normal, mundane things that most take for granted: grocery shop together, go get a random weeknight ice cream together, watch more shows together. I’ve always wanted those things and I’ve never had them. We’ll have them now.
Lots of changes on the horizon, as you can tell. Our grocery bill will grow a bit, as I’ve only ever had to buy breakfasts, lunches, snacks, and dinners for weekends. It’s a small sacrifice to make though for what we’re getting in return. In addition, I’ll no longer have to face the stress of my chaotic nights alone anymore: getting Caleb to bed, feeding the dogs, walking the dogs, tidying up. It’s a mad rush every night taking care of all of our little children, furry and otherwise, and now I don’t have to do it alone. I don’t have to carry all 55 pounds of Ruffles’ round butt around anymore when she refuses to get off the couch. Don’t have to brush Caleb’s teeth while getting the dogs water while loading the dishwasher while cleaning up poop (thanks, Ruffles). It’s a huge, huge sigh of relief, especially right now while I’m pregnant and worn down. The biggest thing that stands out to me is that word: alone. I don’t have to do it alone anymore.
My mom will be watching the boys for us full time now, and that’s a big change, one we appreciate more than we can put into words. On the flip side, I’ll be seeing less of my parents now since I won’t be there every evening after work any longer. That’s a hard one for me. My mom is my best friend and we do everything together, but I suppose that’s another thing newlyweds learn: how to rely less on their parents and more on their spouse. I know it won’t change things. I will still talk to her every day and spend time with her, but I also think this is good for our marriage… learning to rely on one another more than we’ve had to up until this point.
I owe a huge thank you to my parents. One, for taking over childcare for us now that this change is about to hit us, and two, for being there for the last nearly five years. They’ve helped me feel less alone when I’ve been very lonely. My mom and I grocery shopped together every Thursday night, then she’d come and watch Caleb while I unloaded all the groceries. She’s spent many an evening on the couch watching shows and movies with me, and we’ve spent many fun nights at the mall with Caleb, getting dinner, going on the carousel. She’s even done soccer, swimming, and music with us so that I didn’t have to take Caleb alone. Basically, in a time when I’ve been lonely, they’ve helped me feel NOT so lonely. Caleb and the dogs are great, but they’re not great conversationalists, as you can imagine.
And to my husband: I am so proud of your tenacity. You’ve tried again and again… and again. Even when you felt discouraged, felt like you’d never get here, like you were stuck… you got here. Your hard work has paid off. You will sleep like a normal human, and feel like a normal husband and dad. We will become stronger as a team than ever before. I can’t wait to see what our new life is going to look like. This has been FIVE YEARS in the making! We’ve waited so long and have been so patient, and it’s finally here. It’s finally our time.
Yep, our lives are about to change in huge, amazing ways come Monday. I’m excited and nervous but most of all… I’m ready. Ready to learn how to REALLY be a wife and a normal family with our boys. Ready to spread my wings and fly.
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