Last year, I wrote a post covering five things that I am. They are the five things that I feel describe me and my personality the best. While they are mostly good traits, it also got me thinking about my BAD traits. I know it’s best to look at things through a positive lens, but we all have some crappy habits and traits, don’t we? Self-reflection is good, and this is honestly all in good fun! That said, here are a few of my very worst traits.
Stubborn
Not surprisingly, this was also on my list of things that I am. I am stubborn to my absolute CORE. To be honest, this has served me well over the years in many situations, but it can still be a bad trait at times. I really don’t like to back down, admit I’m wrong, or give up on things. My stubborn nature led to many fights with my parents when I was growing up, and sometimes leads to tension with my husband too. Recently, my dietitian told me that if I don’t shape up my eating habits, I will not be a good candidate for surgery. My internal response? Oh, HELL no. That week, I immediately started batch cooking and eating veggies twice a day. What fueled me was her telling me I couldn’t do something. THAT was my motivation, above all else. You think I can’t do something? Girl, BYE. Tell me no, and you will see my stubborn side come out immediately.
Jealous
I am definitely the jealous type. I remember being in middle school and getting mad if my friends hung out without me. There were arguments about “best” friends and new friends and all that nonsense. It also carried over into my romantic life. You can ask Jerry… ain’t NO girl going to talk to MY man, LOL. This has definitely improved over time. The older I get, the less shits I give about, well…. ANYTHING, but it’s still burrowed deep inside me to an extent.
Passive
I tend to be a very passive person. I think this stems from my shy nature and insecurity. I’m less shy than I used to be, simply because I’ve been working with people since I was 16 and had my first job at Wegmans. That passive nature has carried over though. I have a hard time saying no. I struggle with speaking up and defending myself. I often let people trample right over me. I’ve gotten better at this since becoming a mother, but it’s kind of ingrained in me at this point.
Obsessive
I do genuinely believe I have some form of OCD, and have even spoken to a therapist about it and discussed coping techniques. Basically, I have a very obsessive and addictive personality. I don’t just take an interest in something, or have casual hobbies, I get OBSESSED. I don’t just have a hundred books, I have thousands. I don’t just have 2 wax warmers, I have 20+. These are just a few examples, but I often bop back and forth between interests, and I go ALL IN for some amount of time, until I move onto another one, then rinse and repeat. Books, candles, wax, vintage figures, crafts, teacups, etc. I’m also the same about interests. I’ll hear something interesting and can spend hours reading and researching about that certain topic: true crime cases, Dave Ramsey and financial peace, minimalism, etc. I’ll read about these things, think about them nonstop, then just as suddenly, will stop and find something new to research.
Anxious
This is another one that was on my list of traits that define me, and yep, I’m still anxious. I was a child when I was diagnosed with anxiety, and it really does impact my life and mental health. I am always worried, nervous, and stressed. I struggle sleeping. I flit back and forth about things to be anxious about, but I promise you, it’s always something. I get overwhelmed way too easily and my mind always has multiple tabs open.
Awkward
Like… I don’t even know how to describe this, but I say and do awkward things in social situations. I really hate talking to people in person because I convey my thoughts and feelings SO much more concisely in writing, and tend to fumble over my words when I’m speaking. In essence… I’m just a weirdo. You’ll see me leaning up against a wall, not knowing what to say or where to put my hands, at any party or gathering (if I even go at all). I always say the wrong thing, make jokes that people don’t get, bring up random topics, and just don’t converse or socialize the best. This is definitely wrapped up into my anxiety and introverted-ness. At least I recognize that I’m awkward though, right? Instead of being weird and not even knowing?
So there you have it… some of my very worst traits (though I could probably see the bright side to any of these if I looked hard enough).
No comments