A Memoir of Steak Claims, Pancake Rights, and One Very Necessary Side of Eggs
Setting: June 2026
The kids and I were off for Juneteenth, but my day still had one important errand: I needed my daily McDonald’s Diet Coke.Since I was already going, I opened the app and noticed they were running a buy one, get one free deal on breakfast sandwiches. I asked the boys if they wanted some.
“No.”
Caleb wanted a Big Breakfast. With steak
Before I could point out that he’d somehow turned my free breakfast sandwich coupon into one of the most expensive breakfasts on the menu, Holden chimed in. “I want a Big Breakfast too. Sausage.”
I explained there would be exactly one Big Breakfast coming into this house that morning, and they could split it. To my surprise, they agreed.
Then came the drafting process: Holden claimed all three pancakes. Caleb took the steak and the biscuit. Holden called the hash brown.
Everything was settled until we reached the eggs.
Neither child was willing to surrender them. They negotiated. They argued. They presented evidence. They proposed compromises that somehow still resulted in each of them getting all the eggs.
Finally, I offered to order an extra side of eggs.
From the kitchen, my mom, who had heard the entire debacle, chimed in. “I can just make an extra side of eggs. One of them can eat those when you get back.”
It was a perfectly logical solution. Free eggs. Homemade eggs. Mimi’s fresh-from-the-pan eggs.
The boys looked at her as though she’d suggested we harvest our own wheat and churn our own butter. They weren’t interested. They wanted McDonald’s eggs. Specifically.
I ordered the extra side.
Peace was restored.
It cost one side of eggs.
This post is part of my One-Minute Memoir series — short reflections on small moments that still manage to say something big.
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